Grandma, Grandpa & Ellie (BIG)

We were pumped to have the Andersens visiting this long Memorial Day weekend! We missed Jenna but were glad to have Mom, Dad, and Ellie with us! Harlow loved having us all together, there were always willing and available play pals!

They came to support me at my piano and guitar students recital.  It was simple but meant a lot that they came.  My kids did a great job and afterwards to celebrate all the hard work they've put into their instruments we got pizza and popsicles...fancy, yes, I know...that was at their request and they loved it!

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Ellie and I went shopping out at Cozy together and she got a super cute Maxi skirt.  Late Saturday night we had to hit up a snowcone shack.  Gotta admit, I was disappointed in their Tigers Blood.  It was my all time favorite last year and this one kinda tasted like feet, not gonna lie :( BooHoo!  But it was fun to spend all this time just Ellie and I!  She's such a sweetheart and has a good head on her shoulders (most of the time ;) hehe)  I am grateful for this beautiful sister-in-law of mine!

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We all got to hold baby raccoons!  Yes, you read right.   Now how many people do you know that can say that?! They were so stinkin' cute.   Our next door neighbor President Young (Deloy) went and got 4 baby raccoons out from under a neighbors trees by request and put them in a cage to wait for animal control to arrive.  Later, when the animal control showed up, Ranni was feeding them with a dripper and the man told her to not waist her time...have to admit, big raccoons are mean!  I wouldn't want to be left alone in a room with one - yikes!
 

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Nathan got us about 20 free strawberry plants - gotta love ksl!  Dad and Nathan went and dug them up for us.  Mom got to take some home to Vegas.  I hope they grow well for both of us.  We've already gotten some strawberries off our strawberry plants - happiness! 

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Saturday, once Harlow woke up from his super long nap, we went out to the Springville Splash Pad.  It was nice to get out and spend some time in the sun.  I think we all enjoyed ourselves.  Nathan brought his birthday present, a new electric rc car and all the kids there went nuts over it.  Harlow did a little naked time at the end before we got his dry diaper on...he'll probably not appreciate those pictures when he's older - hehe- but I just had to.

 that is the cutest little bum I have ever seen :)

high five for a fun afternoon at the park

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We drove out to Grandma and Grandpa Henderson's house for a Sunday visit.  Grandpa Henderson just returned home from having a pacemaker put in a few days earlier.  It was nice to see him. He was so enjoyable and absolutely adorable with Harlow.  He gave Harlow and me small windmills; I'm positive Harlow's going to love them. 

After a tasty dinner Grandma, Ellie, Mom, Harlow and I took a little walk to the park.

 hehe

Loved the slide

 trying out some yummy wood chips

 I know it's blurry...but it was the only one we got with Grandma and Grandpa that day

Dirty Boy

Not many things make Harlow more happy then being outside. If he has a screwdriver in his hands he will sit out with daddy all afternoon tinkering on the scooters, cars, 4wheelers, lawnmowers - you name it.  I go work In the garden and he's out there right along beside me, sitting in the dirt.  Mostly he's helpful, but he does like pulling up my flowers and eating handfuls of dirt at a time :)  We throw balls around, ride/walk/push his trike around, gets pulled around in his Tonka truck.  He loves the little windmills Grandpa Henderson gave to him and caries them with him everywhere he goes.  Needless to say that by lunch we are already pretty well dirtied and by dinner and bedtime we're normally filthy....so that's why kids gets baths right before bed.

I love it! I love it all!  I love seeing Harlow explore the world around him, discovering all the amazing new things he can do.  Following ants around, being amazed and yet still scared of wiggly worms, watching all the different robins, magpies, hummingbirds, quail, come into the yard, hop along in the grass, finding different and beautiful of flowers, eating homegrown strawberries - he makes my world bright and thrilling! Nothing that I have experienced in my life compares to the joy I have in being a wife and mother!  My life is beautiful and rich!

This dirty boy of mine holds my heart in both of his dirty hands!  He is my world!

to the "Special" park to help my heart

Pictures from May 14th, when Becca took Harlow and I to the Springville Splash Pad park.

Thank You dear sister of mine for being there for me when I needed added strength! 

You're such a blessing in my life.

Harlow was timid of the water...the little fountain was less scary so we spent most of our time there.  The river's way cute and perfect for little ones. I hope he gets use to the water fast, I plan on us spending quite a bit of time in the water this summer.

a sad day

I went in to see Dr Thorpe Tuesday (May 14th) morning for our second appointment, we were 12 1/2 weeks along.  I love my appointments, hearing the heartbeat has always been my favorite part and this would be the first time in this pregnancy (last time I only got to see it in the ultrasound).  Dr. Thorpe brought out the Doppler and started to search for that precious heartbeat but was only picking up mine.  He went to get the portable ultrasound machine.  As I laid there on the table, trying to stay calm I prayed "Heavenly Father, I really want this baby".   The ultrasound confirmed my heartbreaking news, no heartbeat.  I could see the small shape of the fetus in the ultrasound and it was nearly the same size as it was at our last appointment.  Tears slowly rolled down my face as we walked to the main ultrasound room, there we would determine when the heart had stopped beating and if there was any bleeding.  8w1d, so just shortly after our first dr appointment and normal bleeding had started.  I decided that I wanted to let it pass naturally, which could happen anytime within the next week or two.  Dr Thorpe was wonderfully sensitive and sincere.  I could almost see his heartbreaking for me.  Before I left he gave me a big bear hug and told me how sorry he was for me.  I am grateful for my Dr. 

((I had spotted a little that morning but wasn't worried about it, especially since I was going in to the dr that same morning.  In retrospect I realized that I also had light cramping the whole week before but it wasn't enough to worry me or even think anything about it - when your pregnant your body does all sorts of things that it doesn't normally.))

As I was on my way home I texted Nathan asking him to wait at home for me for just a little longer (I questioned whether I should even be driving myself home as I had a hard time seeing through my tears). Sensing something wasn't right he headed over to Jeralyn's house to pick up Harlow so I didn't have to.  When we were all together Nathan held me while I held Harlow and I let the tear fully come now.  I know Nathan was sad but I was so grateful for his strength.  Holding Harlow was the best thing for both of our hearts!

Nathan had to leave for work and school, to which he was late for now.  I put Harlow down for his nap but couldn't stay inside, it felt suffocating.  I went into the front yard and rocked myself in the rocking chair.  Strange how emotions work, I would feel calm and then suddenly, without warning my throat would tighten and the tears stung my eyes.  In my sadness I felt alone and crushed. 

Becca came as a ray of God-sent light.  She dropped everything and was with me in less than an hour.  She held me and we both cried.  She spent the afternoon with me, talking about what was happening but also taking my mind off myself and my sadness.  I am so grateful for this amazing sister and friend I have!  She came as a tender mercy and answer to prayers; so full of love for me.  She brought lunch and dinner to me.  She took us to the Springville Splash Pad to give us something to do.  She was strength to me when I was in need.

Not much happened until Saturday when I passed it.  I'll just say it felt very similar to labor.  I am thankful for a strong body.  Heavenly Father is truly miraculous and our bodies are amazing and capable things.   I was surprised by the wave of emotions that came immediately after.  I sobbed.  I have never felt such heartache.  Nathan stayed close and simply held me.  "I don't even have a baby" is all I could say.  

I did pass the amniotic sac still whole and perfect.  We had talked about whether or not we wanted to see the baby or if that would be too hard.  We decided 'Yes' and I am happy we did.  The baby was so small and white, about the size of the top section of your pinky.  It had arms and legs and little webbed fingers and toes.  Two black dots were its eyes.  We then buried it in the back yard.  I am grateful we decided to look at our baby.  It might seem strange but it gave me closure and helped my heart.  I did have a baby, and someday I will be able to hold that little one and give it the sweet kisses that for now I cannot.

I am grateful for the thoughts and prayers in our behalf.  For the meals that have been brought and the hugs that have been given.  I am blessed and loved!  

Earlier I wrote that as I lay on the table I prayed "Heavenly Father, I really want this baby".  Then as I sat outside on the rocking chair I began to think back on when we were deciding whether to try for another baby.  I got nervous but then I prayed, telling Heavenly Father that I felt like it was the right time but I was nervous and just then, a powerful and peaceful feeling came over me that Yes, it was the right time.  I looked back on that event and wondered.  Obviously, He knew I would have this miscarriage.  Yet, He had reassured me this was the right timing.  As I sat another peaceful feeling came again and calmed my heart.  It had been the right timing, the Lord knew this would happen.  There was wisdom in this.  I needed to learn something, maybe to rely more on the Lord, maybe to trust His timing, maybe I need to experience this so that I can more fully relate with others who have felt this heartache.  I do not know.  But what I do know is that Heavenly Father is keenly aware of me and my needs.  He is guiding my life.  He loves Me.  I have felt this often these past two weeks.  His peace is sweet and healing.  His timing is perfect, He is wise, and He is always near to comfort His Children. 

I love getting into Daddy's things!

We came home and I put Harlow down while I went to do some dishes.  When I was done I went into the front room where Harlow had been playing and I found him sitting with 20 air plane parts around him.  Nathan had left his small, newest airplane out on the floor and Harlow had found it and ripped it apart and bent the wings all up!  I felt so bad for Nathan.  I picked up the pieces and put them away.  Nathan had to do some mending that night.  That's not the only time Harlow's gotten into Daddy's stuff when its been left out.

Harlow loves Daddy's Planes.  We were with family and Aunt Colleen was holding him in the back yard when Nathan flew his plane over head.  Harlow looked up, pointed and said "Dada!" and started squirming to go find Nathan.  He wants to be right along side Nathan, especially when Dad is working on a project.

Here Harlow had found a small balsa wood plane and carried that thing around with him every where.  I let him, that is until he started hitting it against the ground and broke off a piece of the tail...Oops

The Andersen Family 

Nathan, Lizz, Harlow & Baby

April 11, 2013

Photograph by Becca Laing

What a wonderful year we are having!  Life is beautiful & rich!  We feel so incredibly blessed!  Nathan is starting his last year of school at BYU, planning on graduating next spring.  Harlow is growing fast, exploring new things every day, loves being outside & learning to walk.  Mommy is feeling great so far at almost 8 weeks pregnant, thrilled to be having & bringing another little perfect angel into this world. 

after 1 comes....2

Coming November 23, 2013

 a new little one will be joining our family!

Can you see our excited faces the day we found out :)

Nathan & I are very excited to be expecting again and Harlow is excited to be a big brother, he just doesn't really know it yet...up in heaven they were the best little buddies though! 

Silence

I was down stairs doing the dishes when I realized that my house was very quiet...too quiet for all three of us to be at home and no sleeping baby.  I remembered Harlow going up stairs and guessed he might just be getting into some sort of mischief in his favorite place - the Bathroom.  So just in case, I grabbed the camera and snuck upstairs to find...

I love that office

We had our first doctors visit at ValleyOBGYN on April 16th and as soon as I walked in I remembered how much I love the place! My drs are all amazing, professional, and kind. Even with it being a group practice they know me and remembered my liver complications. Nothing really can be done about Cholestasis but we'll watch for signs and keep our prayers coming. (Knowing and feeling like we wanted to have another baby I did a liver cleanse back in December. In January we went back to the dr to get everything in order and had my liver numbers tested so I could see what my base numbers, no pregnancy looked like; they were great, so ahead we went.) I got to see Dr Drews this visit, one of my favorites and the one who primarily helped me with all my liver stuff last time.

Long ways away still but I REALLY want to go into labor on my own...induction was interesting and I'm grateful Harlow was fine. I want to labor at home. I will be going yet another different route this delivery, I'm looking into hypnobirthing. The idea is basically this: women have given birth since Adam and Ev, literally. Our bodies are beautiful and miraculous gifts. They were made to do this. When we have fear our bodies tighten up which is then counterproductive to the progress our bodies are trying to make. Releasing the fear mind over matter, breathing patterns, visualizations, physical touch all help keep your mind calm. Something interesting I'm learning is that when endorphins are released into your body they are more powerful and cover up pain. I experienced this with delivering Harlow. My body was shaking, even with the epidural while I was in transition. It wasn't a cold shiver, it was a tension shiver or such...does that make sense? I asked Nathan to run his hand down my side or arm and amazingly, as soon as he started to simply touch me my shakes went away. He would get distracted and stop and when he stopped my shakes returned. Touch, a loving trusting touch creates a release of natural, powerful endorphines.

Another thing that's going to probably sound silly is that months ago we watched these movies about animals having babies, the elephant sticks out in my memory. The mother elephant was very calm, no screaming, hollering, or even panting...just calm swaying. And she birthed her baby is near silence. Sure, you might say, it's an elephant and she's huge...well so is her baby!!

...I am intrigued by all this and will be for sure learning much more as time progresses. Our bodies, birth, and motherhood are beautiful, sacred, and wonderful! I'm so grateful for this honor and privilege.

If any one of you have had experiences with natural birth, hypnobirthing, the Lamaze method and feel inclined to share you are more than welcome to, I'd love to hear what you have to say, being respectful of the decision I've already made, of course :)

Grandmas

I am so thankful for my wonderful Grandmothers Nadine Farr Rasmussen and Lois Wilkey Larsen.  Such amazing examples of lives of faith, service, and optimism.   The love they have for us and confidence they feel in us is so apparent every time we see them.  I am grateful to the pride they have & show in me.  It makes me want to rise up and be my best self.  

My Grandma Larsen is someone who I value my time spent with her.  She is humble and patient.  She is loving.  But one thing special about Grandma Larsen is that she is "real".  She doesn't beat around the bush, she tells you things how they are or how she sees them.  I love talking with her because I feel like I can be open and honest with her without fear of being judged, "looked-down upon", or weird.  She loves me for me and is always there with a kind listening ear.  She knows she's getting older and has been cleaning, sorting, preparing her and her belongings for the time when she will join my Grandpa.  She's an example of someone who knows what needs to get done and gets right down to work to do it, without fear. 

I'll have to be honest, I don't have as many memories with my Grandma Ras as I had with Grandpa but looking back I know why.  Grandma Ras has led a life of service.  When we were together at family gatherings I never made a meal or a bed, or anything.  "Grandma, I'm on vacation!" as I so obliviously told her once when I was a little girl when she asked for help unloading the dishwasher(...I'm embarrassed to tell that little story).  I don't remember grandma because she was the one doing all those things.  Doing them so none of us had to.  Now that she is older and has Alzheimers I am getting to see a new grandma.  Its hard for me to watch but even now I get beautiful glimpses into "my grandma", the woman she truly use to be and I love it.  What a wonderful woman.

General Conference

Went to have our traditional Sunday morning Conference Session breakfast with Uncle David & Aunt Sheri Larsen.

In preparation for this April's General Conference Peter & Emma went to the store to buy a special toy for Harlow.  Balls!  Harlow's first word.  Harlow spotting them as soon as we walked in the room.  Peter also bought a special treat for Harlow - a chocolate ice cream bar, in memory of the Larsen Christmas get together where Harlow stole and ate all of Peter's chocolate ice cream bar.  Harlow and his clothes were a mess then and was all messy again this time but oh boy was he in heaven.  Thank you Peter for stripping him down to his diaper prior to giving him the ice cream bar this time.  Harlow loves the Larsen gang & they just adore him.  I'm glad we have this tradition of coming up to Dave and Sheri's house every Sunday morning of general conference.

Uncle David took us all to see buffalo & elk.  It was pretty cool.  Goodness they were smelly and surprisingly not as big as we imagined...except one huge buffalo.  Like ginormous!!

JiuJitsu Master Nathan

So proud of Nathan.  Having never done anything like this before Nathan decided to take a JuiJutsu class this semester at BYU.  He was pretty nervous for the first class but after that day was done Nathan was a fan and enjoyed the class more and more as the semester continued.  As part of the class you had to help or participate in a Grappling Tournament.  Again, having done nothing like this before Nathan was pretty nervous.  March 30th - The day of the tournament, "I'm gonna get creamed Lizz" - said on our drive out to Orem.

I set up the camera so I could video record him.  Wrestling the camera and Harlow was quite the task.  In one of the matches I ended up asking someone close by to watch him for me.  Surprisingly, I was super nervous.  We had grappled together at home (fun date nights!) but I had no idea how he would do against these other grapplers.  He was in the Beginner category for 140-160lb weight class men. 

Nathan came out and did very well.  Totally surprising and thrilling us He won his first match!!! and did it with an arm bar!  "No Way!"  He had actually won, like he really did it!  He had a chance at this!

The second match lasted over 19min and in the end he lost. 

He was able to grapple once more for the chance of placing third in his bracket.  Needless to say that after the nearly 20 minute long match just before this he was pooped.   They gave him 15-20min to rest which did help some. He won this match but this time with a triangle choke!  We were going nuts! I was going nuts!   He hadn't been creamed!   He placed 3rd!!!

It was a blast to watch Nathan grappling.  I grew up watching my brothers wrestle through high school and didn't care for it all that much.  This was different.  The grapplers were all very respectful.  Many/most gave each other hugs and praise after their matches.  As I looked across the gym most wore smiles.  There was just a different feeling about the whole thing - I liked it.

 Nathan's "Corner"

Easter Joy

We bought some candy for Nathan & I - which Harlow loved.  (Seriously don't know how this guy knows exactly what sweet things are the moment he sees them, even if he's never seen or tried them before.  Its like he has a little built in radar for the sweets.  Thanks to his Dada, of course)  But for Harlow instead of candy we got a big blue ball which he loves...but the ball got totally upstaged by the Rollos candies.

Tonight we went out to Grandma and Grandpa Henderson's house with Spencer & Angie, and Nathan & Colleen's families where we had a big Easter Egg Hunt.  Colleen was so great and even had eggs set aside for our little Harlow Boy so Daddy and he got to go a huntin'.  The Easter Bunny also brought a sweet spiderman couch and rocketship backyard swim for our little guy :) it was fun being with family and celebrating all together.

Easter is an interesting time - I guess holidays in general are.   The world commercializes them so much so as to take all special & spiritual meanings out of them.  It seems like we can on longer simply celebrate the holiday...let me explain that better...we have to make more and more of an individual effort to bring Christ into our homes with these holidays, it doesn't just happen.  WE CHOOSE TO LET CHRIST IN OR IT JUST DOESN'T HAPPEN!! I am grateful for the time we took out to remember our Savior, His sacrifice and resurrection but I know we could have done more.  If we  are not careful and prepare then all the sudden we realize the holiday is behind us, gone, and a memory, with little to show for it.  I want to re-challange myself to be the Mommy, to be the one on top of seeing that the true meaning of our special holidays comes through and is the center of our celebrations!  It's one of my jobs and I want to rise to the call and bring the light of Christ into my family more!

Pinewood Derby

A pinewood Derby for his College, the same day as the Jiu Jitsu tournament - see his metal.  Nathan was told that the track was going to be certain dimensions but when we got there it wasn't as tall as they had said so Nathan had to adjust his Air Plane Prop Propelled car.  Once that thing was adjusted to was like a rocket, creamed everyone and still wasn't short enough, almost breaking the finish line and timer.  It was sure fun to watch all these engineers pull out their cars but I must say, for engineers some cars were totally not impressive...Nathan's is not included in that group, his really was fabulous!

13 Months

Oh Harlow!

Kisses

When Whitney was opening up her mission call Harlow was handing out kisses left and right. Truth is, Whitney's girl friends all got in a line and he gave a kiss to each one in turn :) What a ladies man!
(*by the way, he's a lip kisser...no cheek action for this dude.  He plain doesn't know what to do if it ain't on the smackers themselves)

Guatemala

Whitney opened up her mission call tonight.

I was at our RS birthday dinner.  Helga Laing came and spoken to the women about Blooming Where We're Planted & how each of us are special.  I left early, relying on my committee to clean things up

We arrived a little early so we helped get family on google+ group chat and had fun messing around with Whitney and her friends.

What a wonderful time. Opening up your mission call is like nothing else.  It is so thrilling and as you sit and hold the envelope you just think, "oh my goodness, my life is about to change forever and in this package holds where I'm going to be living the next year and a half of my life!"  It could be anywhere!!

 She received the call to serve in the Guatemala, Guatemala City Central Mission, Spanish speaking and will report to the MTC in Guatemala on August 7, 2013.

Whitney is very excited! totally blown away at Guatemala and is nervous(in a good way)  She's been reading a missionary blog of someone who is serving in Guatemala right now.  Earthquakes and volcanoes seem to be a fairly regular occurrence.  I look forward to reading her letters as I'm sure they will be very interesting :)

My little, beautiful, blonde haired, blue eyed little angle of a sister is going to serve the Lord in and the people of Guatemala! I am so amazed by the woman she is and has become.  She is my example and hero.  I love her with all my heart.  Hearing all these scary things about Guatemala (not gonna lie) has me a little nervous but I know that Lord will protect, lead and guide her.  If anything did happen to this wonderful little sister of mine I honestly don't know what I'd do...I'd pretty much fall apart...so don't let anything happen to yourself Whit or bad news for me..

"BA" = ball

Harlow has said his first word - Ball!!

 

If we're being honest his real first word was "Dada" but Harlow didn't use it exclusively for Daddy so we just couldn't be sure.  But Harlow definitely knows "Ba!"  He says "ba" and points his cute little finger right at it.  Harlow doesn't exactly know what is a ball and what's not, for example, balloons look like balls and apples, and wheels...round and circular objects - yup, all "ba"